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Poem

A Father’s Prayer

In memory of the untimely death of Rupert Wyard (d. 6/25/18)                                

May he rest in peace

My son, my son, I leave you now.
It was not my choice to say good-bye
when you are still so young and now
must face alone the greatest choices of your life –
of schooling, jobs and love and marriage.

I, your father, will never see you as a man,
as grown to the fullness of your strength
with beard and back and standing tall
amidst the storms and joys of years and all.
I will not be there as you walk
the paths of times to come.

But I leave to you the joys
and lessons of the times we shared
and ask that you carry on
my burdens and my cares
while I lay at rest as
my soul cries out to God above
to take my place as your shield from harm
and lead you through the life I cannot follow,
for I today have left you now to walk alone.

Lawrence J. Fedewa
June 25, 2018

The God of Science

The universe pulses the greatness of God.
Utter vastness of worlds and galaxies,
space, light, time in trillions,
suns and millennia and light years
grow and pass and pray their grandeur
and the greater grandeur of their timeless time
there to God alone, playing and praying
for untold eons watched by Him alone
before man’s telescopes and missiles and rockets.
God, more baffling and astounding and vast
than they and their offspring added and multiplied.
O God of space! O Presence!

God in every ion and molecule,
surrounding its infinitesimal, streaking explosions,
planning its patterns, placing its presence
for man to find and gape in awe,
hypnotized by the science of God
unfolding the mixture of things, the folly of senses
– for a paralyzing instant – a numbing flash
of the fantastic Mastermind of the universe!

SOMEWHERE (a poem by Lawrence J. Fedewa)

[A few days ago, a Red State’s Larry Friis  opened a radio interview by asking. “Where is God?” He was quoting an atheist who thought he was proving there is no God. I did answer the question, but this is a better answer:] 

Somewhere, through all the mist and clouds
Somewhere in the darkness you are there.
The beauty of the sunset and the ocean’s power,
and the horror of tsunamis, tornados, and volcanoes —
all say that you must be there.
Somewhere.

Why all things are alive and strive then die,
why crippled bodies and torn souls hurt and cry;
why men can learn all but “Why”?
and cannot love the shame and sadness and pain we see
as much as the power and grandeur of the earth and sky —
all these things I do not understand
all say that you must be there
Somewhere.

But they do not tell me who you are,
or what you are, or what you want,
or why you have made all this.
So how can I know you know me
care for me, try to save me?
Only the bleeding hands of Jesus,
touching, healing, and changing me
telling me you want me happy
make me think you know I’m here.
Through all the mists and clouds,
Right here.

 

I Walked among the Clouds

[Norman and Agnes Fedewa at the beginning. She left him alone 60 years later. He died within two years.]

I walked among the clouds until I saw
That you had gone and left us all.
Alone, I looked and cried to God above
To bring you back to my home and love.

I needed the warmth of your tender body,
the strength of your steadfast soul,
And the laughter of your sneaky eyes.
Alone, the candle of my life was dark and cold.

But nothing now could bring you back,
The sound and sense of life were gone for good.
How I cried and, weeping, cursed the God above
I was so, so lost without my precious Love.

And then I stopped and thought of where you were.
I saw you in a better place and waiting there
for me to come and love you once again
and light again the candle of your man.

Now my life goes on and I must walk alone,
and try to live with open heart and open hand,
turning sorrow into grace with anger banned,
hoping love returns to melt my heart of stone.

 LJF
December, 2017